spiritual care after a disaster

[Mike Rinehart]

Dear pastors and rostered leaders,

 

I wrote this email to send out to our brothers and sisters in Louisiana,
because it came up while I was there. After thinking about it a bit, I
decided to send it to everyone.

 

I hope you're done battening down the hatches and are waiting for the storm
with peace. I hope you have a party. Eat, drink, enjoy the company of
friends, call and talk to loved ones and do what feeds your soul. There will
be plenty of work to do after the storm. For now, just be.

 

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Phil. 4:6)

 

Mike

 

 

Dear LA partners in the gospel,

 

Take your day off, dummy.

 

I'm preaching to myself, really. If I had to pick the thing that was driven
home to me the most this past weekend, it would be: take care of yourselves.
I heard in a couple of your voices the adrenalin of disaster. The unceasing
sensation of urgency, emergency - the acute sense that you must act NOW, and
the problem is much bigger than your ability to address it - which of course
is true, even in everyday crises, like grief. When I said, "Take your day
off" to one of the pastors, she sounded incredulous. Foolish mortal. What if
the phone rings? What if someone's in trouble? How can I take a day off when
we're living in chaos? How could I be so selfish? It's true: if you take
time for yourself it seems selfish, and you'll likely miss an opportunity to
meet someone's needs. 

 

But here's the deal: If you don't take care of yourself, you will burn out,
and then you will be no good to anyone. And as you burn out you will take
others down with you - you will do more harm than good to others, not to
mention yourself and your family. If you burn out, you will find yourself
one day bitter, angry, joyless, hopeless, and you will infect your people
with the same. Leadership is about your spirit. God's Spirit. The Psalmist
knew it: "Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within
me." (Ps. 51:10) 

 

No matter how dire your emergency, every 144 hours you need 24 hours to
recalibrate. Everyone does, even if their ego makes them believe otherwise.
One hour a day; one day a week; one week a year. This is not optional. I am
not asking. Neither is God (c.f. the third commandment). 

 

We've all had members of our parish who had a dying parent. As the weeks
dragged on, they felt guilty not going to the hospital/nursing home/personal
care home/hospice. Staying home and sitting on the back porch with a glass
of scotch when your mother is dying seems wrong. What if they die while I'm
kicking back and having Sabbath? If I was dying I would want John to come
and visit, but to take care of himself. Live, my son. We all have seen
caregiver fatigue in others. They got angrier, more jaded, more hopeless.
It's easy to see in someone else. We're blind to it in ourselves. Physician
heal thyself. Please take this to heart: You will be a better caregiver if
you tend to your own spiritual care. When the crisis hits and the oxygen
mask drops, put yours on first, and then your child's. It's not selfish,
it's wise. 

 

The second chapter of the book I gave you last week addresses this. The
chapter is Self Care-Not an Option. The book is Disaster Spiritual Care:
Practical Clergy Responses to Community, Regional and National Tragedy,
copyright 2008. Here are some of my thoughts after reading this book. My
thoughts wandered to pastors in Texas who may have to think about these
things after Ike this week.

 

1.       Pray daily. This chapter points out that while your fight or flight
response might be helpful during the initial crisis, it can become
counterproductive during long-term recovery. Prayer lowers anxiety and gets
you back into your right mind. Prayer will help you order your priorities
and draw upon strength from God.

2.       Know your limits. It is very tempting to try to meet every need you
encounter. Resist the urge. Your heed to be helpful will get in the way of
you actually being helpful, and it will push you over the edge. Pace
yourself. Know your role. There is an old saying: "There is only one
Messiah, and your are not it."

3.       Give yourself a break. Like someone who is grieving, you will not
probably function on all eight cylinders for a while. Expect a crash after
the adrenalin rush. You may feel unmotivated for a while, at a time when you
want to be functioning more highly than ever. Expect this. Develop internal
and external support. Work with systems to address needs on a priority
basis. Resist the urge to over-function.  The short and long-term affects of
trauma are well documented: anxiety, depression, sleep troubles, memory
loss, fatigue. Know these may come in waves, and allow yourself time to
grieve guiltlessly. Don't expect to function at your highest level. 

4.       Eat well. Lots of fats and carbs will add to your fatigue and lower
your energy. Heightened cortisol and blood pressure may cause you to crave
these comfort foods. Surround yourself with fruits and veggies so that when
you reach, your odds are better. 

5.       Exercise. This sounds absurd, I know. I try to imagine jogging
through the mud-caked streets of New Orleans after Katrina, or John and
Robin's street of fallen trees, branches and power lines. But if you're busy
with recovery, you need your energy. Exercise raises your energy, helps you
battle stress, anxiety and depression and improves your outlook. Even some
stretches and exercises in the bedroom can make a difference and give you
the feeling you're taking control of your life in the midst of the chaos.

6.       Find a balance between care for your congregation and care for your
congregation's facility. People love their church, but if water is pouring
through the roof of their house, the church will be second tier. If you seem
more concerned for the church than them, they will sense the misplaced
priority. On the other hand, you and your lay leaders have primary
responsibility for the church facility, so you can't ignore it either. Hence
the balance. If you take time for prayer and Sabbath in the midst of the
crisis, it will help your perspective. Also be sure to seek care from
others. Call your family, friends, bishop, and other supporters. Be sure
that your first priority is your own family, then your congregational
members, then your church building. 

7.       Don't move yourself into full-time recovery mode. I learned this
from the pastors in New Orleans. You're a pastor, not a disaster expert.
Recovery is part of your work, but you are still a minister of the gospel.
Make time to study, write sermons, prepare liturgy, visit the sick. Provide
leadership for those in your community who are caring for the church, and
reaching out to the community, but do not be the ministry. Equip the saints
for the work of ministry. Don't be the only one. Churches with a culture of
serving will shift into gear after a crisis. It was incredible after Gustav
seeing churches passing out free hot meals (99W% of the homes in Baton Rouge
were without power at first) and cold water. If your church hasn't had an
outward focus, it may move that way afterwards, but learning to serve well
takes time and infrastructure. You can't grow into a high-test serving
community over night. As Bishop Mark Hanson says, "You don't become what you
are not after a disaster. You draw deeply from who you already are."

8.       Lean on others. You may find volunteers showing up on your
doorstep. You may wish to house them. This is an incredible ministry for you
and to you. But before you jump in, make sure you have a team of people. If
you try to do this alone, you will become overwhelmed. Who will provide
meals? Who will pay for them? (We suggest a $25/day suggested donation from
volunteers. Don't hesitate to do this.) Who will stay at the church with
them, if anyone? Who will schedule bookings? Who will decide what they are
going to do? Who will secure the tools (some will fly in)? Let the synod
office help you. We will connect you with other pastors who have been down
this road. They can help. We will get you information, volunteer medical
releases, indemnification forms, safety tips. All these things are already
developed, and shared between the LCMS, the ELCA, LDR and LSS. You don't
have to reinvent the wheel. But make sure you have a team before jumping in.

9.       Prepare in advance. Before a disaster think through some of these
things. Have a disaster plan. The synod office can help you with this, and
show you what other congregations have done. Who will check up on the
homebound in the congregation? In the neighborhood or community? Who will
secure the church building? Who will make sure the parish records are safe?
What will you do before a storm? After? How will you make contact with
members to out who has needs and who can help? Under what conditions would
you cancel church, if at all? Failing to plan is planning to fail. Plan the
work, then work the plan. Have the plan on your web page, and on your shelf.
Once a year (probably in May or June when hurricane season starts), gather
your congregation's Rapid Response Team and make sure the plan still makes
sense and everyone knows what they're doing.

10.   Start your self-care routine before the disaster. If you're out of
shape spiritually and physically when the disaster hits, it's hard to catch
up. And pastors are always dealing with people in crisis. Now is the time to
get serious about this. Schedule your prayer time and your work outs. Think
through your food issues. Go to the www.elcabop.org web page and take the
free health assessment. You get $100 off your medical expenses. It's the
easiest $100 you'll ever earn. Go get your free well doctor exam. You get
one free every year. "In a national survey conducted by Pulpit and Pew of
2,500 religious leaders, they found 76% of clergy were either overweight or
obese compared to 61% of the population." (Spiritual Disaster Care, p. 21)
We clergy believe our work is important, so important that we can't take
time for ourselves. It feels selfish. But if we are hospitalized for
clinical depression or heart problems, we will be even less able to serve.
Serve smart. Be a good steward of your body.

 

I'm fully aware that a lot of this seems like law, and not gospel, but it's
both. Think of it this way. God has commanded you to take a day off. It is a
gift. God doesn't expect you to work 24-7. Once a week God says, have fun,
play, pray, be inefficient, careless, and wasteful with your time. Wander.
Make love. Listen to the wind. (Maybe a bad image today.) Get lost in the
woods. Read. Eat, drink and be merry, even in the midst of the storm - even
though you walk though the valley of the shadow of death. And the One who
brought you into being will come near, as you say he is. Nearer to you than
your own skin.

 

Your fellow workaholic,

 

Mike Rinehart

 

Michael Rinehart, bishop

The Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast Synod

Evangelical Lutheran Church in America

12707 I-45 North Frwy, Suite 580

Houston, TX 77060-1239

281-873-5665

www.GulfCoastSynod.org <http://www.gulfcoastsynod.org/> 

 

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